Reforming Marriage (3)

I have been plugging this book for a couple of weeks. Let me do it at least one more time. I will insert an entire paragraph (page 25):

The commands are given to our respective weaknesses in the performance of our duties. Men need to do their duty with regard to their wives- they need to love. Women need to do their duty in the same way- they need to respect. But men are generally poor at this kind of loving. C.S. Lewis once commented that women tend to think of love as taking trouble for others (which is much closer to the biblical definition), while men tend to think of it as not giving trouble to others. Men consequently need to work in this area, and they are instructed by Scripture to undertake it. In a similar way, women are fully capable at loving a man, and sacrificing for him, while believing the entire time he is a true and unvarnished jerk. Women are good at this kind of love, but their central requirement given to wives is that they respect their husbands. As Christian women gather together (for prayer? Bible study?), they frequently speak about their husbands in the most disrespectful way. They hurry home to cook, clean, and care for his kids. Why? Because they love their husbands. It is not wrong for wives to love their husbands, but it is wrong to substitute love for the respect God requires.